Throw down the groove..
I think I speak for most all women when I say that one of the most treasured experiences of newly made motherhood is the prospect of getting back into shape after nine months of slobbiness.
If you're like me, idealistic and ambitious, the first thought through your head when you hear the news that you've got a alien growing in your abdomen, is: "No freeloader will EVER get as excellent treatment as THIS little freeloader."
Vitamins!
Exercise!
Massage! (the daily quest to think up ever new and inventive ways to con unsuspecting individuals into performing this service is a story unto itself)
Wheat germ! Spinach and assorted-health-foods-that-have-as-much-tastiness-as-a-sock!
HA!
The road to hell is paved with good intentions, my mama always told me -- though probably not in this context.
That wheat germ is still mostly full in the back of the fridge, the vitamins are lucky if I remember to eat them, and the exercise was shoved aside for the much more important task of Relaxing Naps. Hey, you can't cover ALL the bases.
Pre-belly I was in the habit of a vigorous workout as described (I wanted to add a humorous ps here about that post..see where I'm talking about having kids. Haha, I sure showed HER.) earlier with the effect of a rather pleasing 6 pack..of sorts. Observe:
Exhibit A
Post-belly I was lugging around a rather unwieldy keg:
Exhibit B
(Catch this latest craze from Finnish fashonistas! Holding your own breasts! Now you too can attain this stunning look, simply cup your hands over your chest and voila! a simple look that is guaranteed to turn heads.)
As a result, post-post-belly, I am left with a rather creaky and undisciplined amount of muscle and flesh to contend with.
Since our apartment complex boasts a gym, that sadly leaves me with no excuse.
Now here's the part where you all insert the appropriate and stimulating encouraging phrases such as:
You can DO it!
Good work!
Hallelujah!
Don't give up!
And in my dark moments of self-doubt when I am on the brink of ending it all (the exercise, that is) I will come back and read these softly written words of support and it will give me the strength I need to persevere to the glorious end!
Thank you Jesus!
If you're like me, idealistic and ambitious, the first thought through your head when you hear the news that you've got a alien growing in your abdomen, is: "No freeloader will EVER get as excellent treatment as THIS little freeloader."
Vitamins!
Exercise!
Massage! (the daily quest to think up ever new and inventive ways to con unsuspecting individuals into performing this service is a story unto itself)
Wheat germ! Spinach and assorted-health-foods-that-have-as-much-tastiness-as-a-sock!
HA!
The road to hell is paved with good intentions, my mama always told me -- though probably not in this context.
That wheat germ is still mostly full in the back of the fridge, the vitamins are lucky if I remember to eat them, and the exercise was shoved aside for the much more important task of Relaxing Naps. Hey, you can't cover ALL the bases.
Pre-belly I was in the habit of a vigorous workout as described (I wanted to add a humorous ps here about that post..see where I'm talking about having kids. Haha, I sure showed HER.) earlier with the effect of a rather pleasing 6 pack..of sorts. Observe:
Exhibit A
Post-belly I was lugging around a rather unwieldy keg:
Exhibit B
(Catch this latest craze from Finnish fashonistas! Holding your own breasts! Now you too can attain this stunning look, simply cup your hands over your chest and voila! a simple look that is guaranteed to turn heads.)
As a result, post-post-belly, I am left with a rather creaky and undisciplined amount of muscle and flesh to contend with.
Since our apartment complex boasts a gym, that sadly leaves me with no excuse.
Now here's the part where you all insert the appropriate and stimulating encouraging phrases such as:
You can DO it!
Good work!
Hallelujah!
Don't give up!
And in my dark moments of self-doubt when I am on the brink of ending it all (the exercise, that is) I will come back and read these softly written words of support and it will give me the strength I need to persevere to the glorious end!
Thank you Jesus!
Comments
It's a real stumper
Ha!
Don't worry, you always look great!