8.4.08

Throwdown


Combatant One: Liz "El Ratito" de Gaalon

Combatant Two: Demon "Ant" Iz'rogul

Winner:
Liz "El Ratito" de Gaalon

All rumors aside, this is how it all went down:
We were at a weekend cookout. I'm swinging Avicus Grey over my shoulder in a playful gesture and all of a sudden I feel a painful sting on my neck.

Lo, I see Iz'Rogul (also known as "Ant Face") looming near my jugular, jubilation in his jowls. I take a seat, swatting off my Annoyance and continue in the conversation.

Not two minutes later, I imbibe that this insect from the Inferno has injected me with his ill will. The blood in my brain feels like it wants to burst out of it's weak barriers and the heartbeat, oh trustworthy one, slows like the minute hand of a clock. I walk away to cool my "hot head" and slip off my shoes to ease the pressure (?).

Dave strolls over to make sure I'm alright, "I'm going to pass out in 20 seconds, take me to the hospital", I plead _ he hollaz for Seth who runs over, scoops me up "Save me.." says I and that is the last, my brothers, that I remember.

(Witness story: I peed all over Seth carrying me when I passed out because I'm classy like that and he's into it. or is now haha)
Apparently I felt like a unwieldy bag of soggy sand, with flailing anchor limbs, carrying me into the ER.
Note: I've been dieting and working on my maneuverability ever since.

When we got to the hospital they thought I was dead with hardly a breath and an untraceable heartbeat, but if they could've read my unconscious I was thinking "I hope I swatted Demon "Ant Face" Iz'rogul hard enough to squash him into in-existence", because I'm hard-core like that.

I came to naked, with a tube down my throat, oxygen over my mouth, steroids and god-knows-what-else dripping into both veins(as apropos a veteran scrapper would.)
Because they didn't know my birth name, my bracelet read "Medical, Victor".

As it happens, I'm allergic to ants with a tolerance level of 0.
Light=heartedness aside, I'm concerned that when people of age ask to be taken to the hospital, it's granted them. When I lived in Houston two years ago the same thing happened only, luckily, less drastic. I asked to be taken and instead somehow I ended up in a bathtub of bleach water; the next morning, told I was faking it.

If someone had ended up hesitating just a moment the other weekend I wouldn't be writing this account, I chalk it up to Divine intervention. Thank You.
As is, now I need to carry a shot of adrenaline with me at all times, which I've had to take since - and makes you feel like you've robbed a bank, drunk 8 cups of shake-inducing-coffee, transformed into a 200 lb brick and then agreed to have animal testing done on your small intestines. I'm giving it a .5 thumbs down.
I had a sister who waited five hours+ to be taken to the emergency room and arguably things would have been different if people had hustled..
Just saying.

So that's the story for all you curious questioners.

But what of Demon "Ant" Iz'ragul? Word is he died ignominiously, just a bug among millions.

Score
: Liz - 1 Familia Anticae - 0

11 comments:

Ruthie said...

Oh wow. I'm glad that everything worked out and that you're safe...and alive. Love you.

Angie Staughton said...

Crazy! It's a miracle you're ok Liz.

I guess Avicus will never get an ant farm.

Praying for you.

Luca said...

Woah, scary stuff. There are some positive things to this allergy of yours though. Just think how cool you'll be with a shot of adrenaline in your purse. I mean, you only see that in movies! Think of the awesome pick-up lines, scare tactics and conversation starters that will be.

Think positive! :P

Luca said...

P.S. Why is your blog in French?

LoxyFady said...

I'm so glad you were close to a hospital and are ok! Chester is allergic to ants but not to the point of having to carry an epi-pin...usually a dose of antibiotics cures him, although they say that allergic reactions often tend to get worse the more you are subjected to them.

crazynik said...

awww, scary stuff hun! SO thankful you're ok and still with us. Praying for you.
luv you xxxx

GeminiSide said...

Good Lord at first I thought that was just a little story you wrote.
Be careful, the next time I'm around I want to see you alive and as beautiful as ever. So do your best! :D
Love you Liz
xoxoxo

Liz said...

thanks guys. yea, loxy like I said the first time it happened I came to after a couple hours but this next time, we were 4 mintues from the hospital and we were just a minute in time.
It sucks when you start worrying for your kid when they go out that they don't have it too..

Haha, yea, now I get threatened with an ants nest for christmas if I'm naughty.

I hope I did come across positively. It's in french because I was messing with the settings..oh say, a year ago - and never changed them back. Et voila!

Anonymous said...

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!! what?? no one told me!!! ahhhhhh!!!
if you die i'll kill you. i'm gonna call you, sugar plum.
signed,
you know who

Kristina said...

Whoa! An ant allergy??? I had no idea that even existed! I watch 4 kids every week and two of them carry epi pens for different food allergies. We try to protect our kids from moving cars and predators, and then the allergies get them. No keeping anyone safe!

Amythos said...

oh geez, so glad to hear you are fine.
I honestly have never heard of an ant allergy as well, how weird...has got to be a one in a thousand thing.

beware of the little things, they can do you more harm than you thought...heh