i mean, who does this?

I'm having a conversation with my girlfriend, Anita.

I've got a Feeling as if tonight is The Night. Finally, after nights of just mild quease, a little ewy gooey feeling in the pit of my stomach - Tonight I might just barf.

Thinking about the prospect I blurt out, "Can you imagine being sick for weeks on end, months even? What horrors!"

Anita sagely reminds me, AS THEY ALL DO (inhumane sadists) that *sweet sigh*, "Liz, simply everyone does it."

Five words missy:


She did this 11 times, count, E-le-ven!! (twice with twins) and look at her. I mean, she's mad as a hatter!
Obviously, I LIKE mad as a hatter and I sure as hell wouldn't change a thing about dear mother, but I know she didna start out like that. No. She was obviously a pleasant wee teenager before she first started producing young and I can only surmise, was badly affected by this sickness.

I'm not going to go on, bitching and moaning about it because I don't want to look like a wimp and shame myself before all the other mothering and lactating women out there but by Golly! I hope it quits before I start wandering the streets, crazy eyed and drooling. Desperately trying to contain the bile that tries to escape while my clawed fingers scratch at my belly as the Beast/Foetus within snarls to be fed.

I smell peanut butter cookies. Hi ho!


florecita said...

Someone once told me "If you're going to puke, puke with gusto".
I have no idea how that works... but its a funny mental image.

Liz said...

"with gusto"...haha, i like that.
by george! I'll do it!

Bear said...

liz my nausea is so bad i can't go in the house without puking-- all of a sudden everything is so stinky, and people's breath is the WORST!! I pity you, woman.

Michelle Lavigne said...

Ha, I lived in a house with 4 pregnant women at one time; (They’ve all given birth except one, which will be coming soon) I've heard everything there is about being with child, giving birth and the whole baby process, and EVERYTHING that comes with it. I'm glad I came here it’s such an education, now I'm prepared for just about anything. I'm just so thankful I don't have to carry a child yet. “God give me a few more good years.” Don't worry Liz; I'm sure you'll do just wonderfully! You strong woman you. Love you!

lynC said...

Peanut butter cookies.


Grab me a few, will you?

Anonymous said...

I think the guy holding the footswitch looks like a band member.

Amaranthine said...

god i'm so sorry. kind of sad that ur making fun of ur own pain... this is heart wrenching stuff!

of course... lord, who am i 2 talk..?

laugh away.


jesse said...

Oh my. I feel sorry for you guys. Please cut it out.