I done a bad thing..

One day I'll want to win this righteous award: The Bad Sex in Fiction Award

A tasty snippet from 2001's winner:

"Her hand is moving away from my knee and heading north. Heading unnervingly and with a steely will towards the pole ... Ever northward moves her hand, while she smiles languorously at my right ear. And when she reaches the north pole, I think in wonder and terror -- she will surely want to pitch her tent."

And the one that just delighted me:

"Liz squeaked like wet rubber.."

Who told him?