5.4.05

Screaming about abso-positively-nothing...

I'm pleased to have a guest onto Faire un Nom.
Scallywag, best friend, future best-selling author, and if she hadn't a' said it -- I probably would have...in not so articulate terms.
So without further ado:

“Robin Bennett, associate director of the medical genetics clinic at the University of Washington, said that laws prohibiting cousins from marrying are ‘a form of genetic discrimination.’”

Ever feel like you’re not really doing anything worthwhile? Try being…um…Robin Bennett. He spends his time at the University of Washington studying whether or not marrying your cousin is a good or bad thing and coming up with brilliant stuff like “genetic discrimination.” After the years and years of birth defects, this guy comes to work one day and says “I wonder what would happen if first cousins marry each other?”
OK, so maybe someone wants to know what the percentage rate is of their child being born with a defect if they meet the love of their life at a family reunion. But when you consider that the entire globe is going to crap because we’re using all of its resources and filling the air with pollutants that are destroying our only protection against the sun (yes, the ozone), well, it sort of makes you feel a little…sad. Now consider the man with lung cancer, boy wouldn’t he like to find out the percentage rate of his survival. No, please Mr. Bennett, study the effects of marrying your own relatives.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, how would you feel if your boss said “Hey Joe,” (Joe being your current pseudonym in your current life at CNN-on-the-internet) “I’ve got a story for you.” You sit with abated breath waiting for “that” story to fall into your ever-so-ready lap. “There is a couple in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania” he says “who, aside from being a married couple, just so happen to be FIRST COUSINS.” He tells you with a c’mon-buy-this sort of grin. Since I’m not a reporter for CNN, I have no idea what this man does next – call up the 411 hotline and say “hey, so who’s spending their time studying…” and you tell them your story and they give a name. Well, I don’t know how it’s done, but somehow this person hacks up a twelve paragraph story (very short paragraphs) and goes home that night with a feeling of accomplishment, no doubt.

Some days, people should just stay at home and not do nothing. If you feel that marrying your cousin is a very important thing in your life, please marry that cousin (Maryland allows it, there are 26 states that do). But for the love of God, don’t tell anyone about it! When your kids come out with defects, you’re invited to put their pictures on CNN to warn other people of such things as “genetic disease” (boy, the hours that went into naming that disease).

But if you’re not going to do anything,
please don’t do it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I love this one. And, hey, coincidentally my current name IS Joe.

Joe.