The Truth behind the Facade

It's amazing what you'll discover if you'll only step out of your box, your grind of normality. There's a Whole World, believe it or not, going on at spectacular speeds just beyond your line of vision.

Case in point:

Last night at around, oh, 11:28 --I suddenly got this familiar jumpy feeling. It started as a little niggle in the back of my head, twitched into life and shot a direct jolt into the soles of my feet, being roughly translated as: "itchy feet". (no, no, no. not ACTually itchy. Think Outside the box, it's a metaphor)
I wanted to Get Out in wide spaces. Breathe the fresh Air...I was a little hungry too. I've been firmly planted in the house for the past week, I take my responsibility seriously, all which I've recounted earlier.(Today is D-Day, rejoice with me)

So I jump into the van (I use the term loosely, as this van could also be called "rust bucket", "very large, trucklike-object" and, "menace of the road")with my faithful buddy, Crass, and two by two like little Speckled Lemurs on Noah's Ark we bump and roar our way down the road to...(heavenly noises, chorus, and lights) --Wal-MART!

(Here's where things get interesting)
Now, I don't know if you've ever BEEN to Wal-Mart at 12:00 midnight. If you've never BEEN, period, you'll be scratching your head, "Ju frelick Walmart atte??" (lucky you)
Well the first thing you'll notice at this ungodly hour, is the unsettling non-presence of large women wearing tents and curlers, the boom of car stereos as they go round, and round...and...round, the hustle and bustle that makes Wal-Mart the town square market of the Millennium is lacking.

The next thing you notice, or rather, that crosses your mind as you're standing in line to purchase your booty, is: "What are these Other Customers doing here?...I mean, I've got a perfectly legitimate excuse -- my life has Never been normal, I'm used to doing things a little wacky, the rest, obviously not." They begin looking like criminals and cutthroats, you start speculating as to what their story might be and what brought them to this unfortunate end, which jail they broke out of..and of course, they're All on Drugs. (This is the deep, character study part of my story. Human life, at it's worst, as seen through the eyes of one who has the best. If any of this offends your sensibilities, I suggest you get down on your knees and ask God for some compassion)

Another thing that strikes you strongly is the Workers. If you've seen Wal-Mart workers in ordinary day-hours, yes, they may be slightly offbeat but at Night - at Night it's a whole 'nother batch. I like to think they ship them in as soon as the sun sets, backing the trucks up to the door, letting them spill out into the store, they've never seen daylight. They shuffle about, restocking shelves, pushing carts back in place, muttering under their breath. Their hair is thinning, eyes yellow-tinged, skin pallid and ever-so-slightly translucent. They stare at you, with your bright eyes, and glowing skin as if --if you were an energy drink, they'd drink you.

This whole Other World goes on beneath your nose, you never know of it, until you step out of your ordinary schedule.

We sat there, Speckled Lemur Crass and I, on their wooden benches, eating our honey buns. Laughing profusely and talking animatedly of pirates and crossbows, gorgons and screech owls. That's when the elderly doorman walked up, checking to make sure we weren't on drugs. Two worlds I tell you, Two Worlds.

Ironic, huh?


Jamie said...

A guy I work with says, and I quote "I love going to Wal-mart after midnight, there's so much pussy walking around. I've picked up at least 3 bitches at Wal-mart after midnight." Now I know where his hideous 350 lb. Girlfriend/Ho came from.

The Spartan said...

I work at Wal-Mart from 12:00 am to uhhh......ummmm......I live at Wal-Mart. I have to dissagree with you on the whole "truck dumping" theory. They use a spaceship. I know what your thinking: "Do space ships have aircon?" or "Aren't spaceships expensive?". They answer is 'no'. They buy the Great Value ones. I do understand what you mean when you say 'two worlds'. It is very much 2 different worlds. Why you ask? Well ....well...uhhhh....I actually don't know because, well, I've never seen your world. What I don't get, is why wouldn't anyone want to live in Wal-Mart? Its got everything you need. Can you think of something that Wal-Mart has that you can't live without? The 20 gazillion flourecent lights give off enough UV rays to keep you warm and just enough so that your not totally translucent. And truuuust me there's enough 'pussy' to go around. Take ONE of the female employees here and its enough. Hmmm lets see what do I want to do. Well I'm bored so I think I'll play some X-box-No- some Ps2. My neck is at a permanant obtuse angle. thanks to my craving for unlimeted demo's. I have to look at my customers through my translucent chin. The cammeras! OH the ecstasy. Every time I look at them I feel like i'm being cradeled in my mothers breast. Well actually I don't have a mother. All Night shift employee's are a spawn from Sam Waltons sperm. Cuts down useless overheads....I'm sure you understand. But man there are sure some wierd people that come in here. I hate freaks they give me the willys.

Liz said...