Faire un Nom: Tonight we will be interviewing Crass. Crass has taken the media by storm with his latest feat: "The Black Jew". A brilliant controversial solo piece on slide guitar.
Liz: Thanks Crass for joining us. I love you in Red. It's SO avant-garde. (twitch) Soooo. (I trill) What inspired you for this piece?
Crass: Well, one time I was taking a walk -- when I looked down at this puddle of water and I saw the most contrasting sight I'd ever beheld. Indside, was the most beautiful shining pearl and next it, was this disgusting looking toad. And that summed it.
Liz: And you went home and translated this visual stimuli into a masterpiece of orgasmic sound?
Crass: Well, after thinking about my Jewish heritage and all the "black" days they had to go through, it really made me appreciate the state I am in and caused me to compose this..what's the word I'm looking for...dramatic slightly melancholy piece of how we've come so far. It was a bad piece to start off with and I'm pleased with it's end.
Liz: Oh, I'd agree heartily. I've never heard of you before today. How do you feel about life after death in regards to music?
Crass: I believe that music is one long thread, starting from the most simple beginning, to continue infinitly and will never die. Always something more is created and always something more is imagined and will never cease to exist.
Liz: Yes, yes. That's nice and all, Crasstokkies -- but what about when your body is dust? You won't be brilliantly masterminding any legends like "The Black Jew" when you're covered in dirt and numb to the latest hit on MTV2.
Crass: I believe I will be influencing others through my music which continues in the infinite strand of music made by God. Huzzah!
Liz: You are so profound, even I cannot understand you. I hope you are on a deeper level with God than you are with me. Because I'm blown away by your interdimentional fraternization. What is the meaning of life?
Crass: Why do you bore me with these simple questions? Let's get a drink..
Liz: I hate orange juice.