Someone has a crush on me. Let me explain.
The closest store to our house is a Food Lion. And every so often, like this morning, I zip on down for emergency foodstuffs. Today, it was coffee, coffee and milk -- important breakfast items. (you nod your head sagely along with me).
Now, one of the cashiers at this store is a rather attractive young girl who we'll call Kathryn. Kind of a funky little thing, you know the type -- kohl-rimmed eyes, dyed black hair, white teeth. As fate would have it, I always somehow get her lane. She'll look down the aisle and catch my eye as I stand inconspicuously behind the magazine rack and flash me a dazzling grin. I'll smile back.
I really thought nothing of it.
A grey drizzly morn, I make my customary jaunt down. Deciding between Whole Grain or Raisin Wheat(good fiber), whole milk or 2%, I push my cart down. She's the only one working. We exchange the regular smiles, never quite making eye contact.
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
I jerk my head up, "Sorry?"
She asks again, "Do you have a boyfriend?"
I chuckle nervously, "No, heh". Shifting awkwardly on my feet.
She continues scanning items then stops suddenly, looking me straight in the eye, "Do you want to go out sometime? I mean,(giggles) if you don't..um..heh..aren't like that..just pretty..don't want.. I don't know, do you?" She says in one breath.
I'm still not quite sure what she's getting at here but she sums it up with a, "I, like, like you."
I glance around to see if there were any other customers who witnessed this unusual exchange. Or an excuse, "Sorry, I'm holding up the line". No such luck.
So why is this? What stimulates attraction? A certain style of dress? A curve of the mouth? The set of the eyes?
Or is it a deeper, magenetic kindling of two souls, communicating with each other in high-pitched, frantic waves of emotion?
Whatever it is, I want to know. Can it be harnessed? Bottled? Sold? Could I possibly be a walking-talking-breathing Wealth of Sensuality? Beneath this dorky, orange-clad exterior -- could there lurk a Vixen Lizz?
Regrettably, I didn't know the answers at the crucial moment so I fell back on the clever line: "Uh, I'm, uh...uh..." Picked up my bags, turned my back and walked out into the rain.
Breaks my heart.