You want to know about my day? I'll tell you about my day...regardless.
It's as if a star, a bright, shiny, twinkly, glorious star -- fell from heaven..and shat on my head.
Now what I did to deserve this celestial defecation I'm still trying to figure out and honestly, I'd tell you about it but it's just too painful right now. tick. tick. tick. tick. tick.

alright then, here goes:

I was unsuspecting enough, when the day started.
It seemed pretty standard...
The sun came up at it's usual hour, charging through the blinds like a water-buffalo through the rice patties. I lay there for a few moments, unsuspectingly enough. Wiggling my toes, squeezing my eyelids, savoring the last vestiges of my dream (a peculiarly interesting one about Killer Prune-Eating Weasels with Chainsaws, which impregnated me -- I'll get to that another time). I roll out of bed, crashing into the drumset which is carefully positioned so I can fully appreciate the early morning sound effect of body-hitting-cymbals.

Coffee is percolating merrily in it's pot..a good omen.
I look out the window at the bright blue sky, a yellow-bellied sapsucker hovers momentarily over the lawn and I smile to myself. "Yes. All is as it should be", say I, unsuspectingly enough.

No sooner, however, do I step out the door with my nefarious compadre, (names changed to protect the unsuspecting) *Fenwig*, than a dark cloud of gloom settles on my head and proceeds to beat the bajeesus out of me. Poor me. Poor, poor Fenwig.

The day still sparkles, the wind still blows soft breezes to tickle my skin, but still I slouch in the seat of the truck, arms crossed, eyebrows lowered, my gaze fixed on the far horizon, my mind a million miles away as the hapless Fenwig tries hoplessly to coax a smile from my glowering face.

To recount the events of the day would be too tedious and too grievous to recall, trust me when I say: it blew.

But finally, we come to the end of the Day That Never Ends. I slide out of the truck, bone-wearied,and dejected to stalk into the house, slamming my backpack onto my unsupecting bed.
It is then, and only tnen, that Fenwig's Mate (noble creature that she is) suggests that I might want to have a beer and some time alone in the Hot Tub to soothe my tattered nerves.
I did.

So here I sit, dear reader, to tell you of the Good that comes out of apparent Vile.

For one, I've I finished two paintings in one evening, I'll post them tomorrow when they've dried. And for seconds, I've had some mighty fine beer. In light of this I'll share with you a choice tidbit from the man, Dave Barry, who wrote:
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
and with that I leave you, unsuspecting.
Good Night.


Heidi said...

seriously lizz, have you ever thought of writing a book?? It could be about anything really. you write so well that even if its about the spasms of your little toe, everyone would be captivated.
I'll give you a call later today. It's been a while. We should hook up some time.

Jamie (girl) said...

^^^ Here, here! ^^^
Totally agree with Heidi!

Liz said...

wow. thanks, i'm touched. I've thot of it once or twice but i just can't commit to seeing anything through...plus, spasming toes might get boring after the 5th chapter, heh.
and yes. let's hook up>:D